This is a very difficult question to answer. Any caring person feels empathy towards someone who is suffering, but it is difficult to continue wanting to help someone who seems unable, or unwilling, to help themselves - especially when the answer seems so clear to an objective observer.
I think the important thing to understand is that is a slow and destructive process to break down a woman, and it happens so slowly and subtley that she doesn't notice until it is too late. To stay in these relationships brings on a myriad of reasons - all of which make sense, in a strange way. They still love their partner, seems to be the top one, along with ';he's not like this ALL the time...';. They may fear their partner, but the abuse they have suffered has created a fear of what to expect from others, too. It's all about ';the devil you know';.
Finances is a huge one. A lot of these women find themselves unemployed, bills to pay, children to support...it's somehow easier to make excuses for your partner than try to make it on your own, especially after you have been told, over and over again, that you can't.
Another is a lack of support - by the time the abuse is at its' pinnacle, the abuser has successfully shut out or created a rift with every possible support person the woman had, family included. Imagine how hard it would be to walk away from an abuser when you feel that you have absolutely nowhere to go, no one to turn to and you don't believe that even your family would be willing to help you - now, imagine throwing children into this predicament - nobody wants to take their children to a shelter, disrupting their school/schedule and for a lot of women that comes with the fear of child services becoming involved, if they weren't already, and the fear of having their children taken away..
Which brings us to fear...fear of the abuser is often less frightening than the fear of the unknown. Fear of being judged for being weak willed and suffering the abuse (they, too, probably wondered why on earth any woman would tolerate abuse before they found themselves in that situation). Then there is the fear and shame of people around her knowing what has been going on behind closed door and talking and gossipping about it. Fear of having to find out if their abuser was right or wrong about their ability to function on their own.
Unfortunately, too many women enter unhealthy relationships because they don't have the proper respect for themselves to begin with, but this happens to strong and confident women, too.
Have sympathy and don't ever give up on a friend that you feel might be sinking into this trap - even if it is to just call when you know the partner is not at home and remind her, over her denials that anything at all is wrong, that you are always there for her.What do you think of women who stay in physically/verbally abusive relationships?
A woman who is in a physically and/or verbally abusive relationship is generally in a situation where she is being told that she is completely worthless, not worth the time he is spending with/on her.
From someone who has been in an abusive (both physical and verbal) it's hard not to feel as they tell you.
Abusers will purposely try to get you as far from family and friends so that it is harder for them to leave...
It is harder to get out of verbally abusive relationship than it is a physical because it's harder to get proof that there is abuse, and it has a tendency to wear on the emotions...
I think they are afraid. Most people don't understand how much their self esteem has suffered. They are told that they are lucky to have the man and that he is doing it for their own good and that they won't do well in life without them and that they couldn't do anything without them. And after awhile.... they start to believe it. The man usually apologizes too says he sorry and won't to it again..... but then he does. I sympathize with them a lot.
they wouldn't be in abusive relationships if they had more self esteem and confidence.
I think you shouldn't judge unless you've walked a mile in their shoes.
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