Of course, it's complex and frustrating for almost everyone. But, I think it could easily be argued that it's moreso for good men than any other group, if common sense, anecdotal evidence, and honesty were the rules of argument.Do women tend to downplay how complex %26amp; frustrating dating and relationships can be for good men?
Women make it sound so simple to be a guy:
';just think, talk and act the way I want you to, and we'll have a great evening. Also I want you to decide everything, but it had better be what I want to do anyway, and you need to know this without asking me.';Do women tend to downplay how complex %26amp; frustrating dating and relationships can be for good men?
Dating is one area of life where women have the advantage. This is simply because they don't have to approach men. Men have to do all the work in the beginning and that requires skills and confidence. To get skills and confidence, you must FAIL, get rejected and get used and abused. Its the only way to learn. It sucks, but once you get past that, things get much better.
One thing I've learned is how to minimize drama and frustration. Here are my tips:
-Make rules for yourself and what you expect from women. Don't be afraid to WALK if she doesn't behave up to your standard.
-Stop caring so much and just enjoy the interaction.
-Its a numbers game. The more women you talk to, the more options you have.
-Keep your emotions out of it until she shows clear signs of commitment.
-Women who like you will ACT on it. Women who are ';teases'; tell you what you want to hear, but they never DO what you want them to do. (This one is very important)
-Don't worry about a woman leaving or losing interest. If she leaves, its probably better that way.
I'm married but I've been there so I get it.
Technically, a married couple even dates and nurtures their marriage, that is what the honeymoon tradition is all about and yes, a married couple sometimes does the tango....there is suppose to be more to come with growth : )
As far as ';good'; people....well we all have good within. Some people hide it though because they don't want to get burned. I don't know if you'll get this but don't be so controlling (duck)...that darn !assumption! ; \
It makes much more sense to me to find these things out and either practice working thru them or see them as a warning sign before marriage. Just remember ...assumption is not your friend, it's the enemy.
I do not see a person of your nature needing a shoulder often but yes, we all do sometimes. I don't think she's there yet but keep going, she will be.
That would depend on the GOOD men and where there looking.
There are alot of good men that pick the worst women.
They pick an alfa women and don't put alot of thought about how she got in that position. High maintenance hello!!!
And alot that think that GOOD women hang out at the pub lol.
Think about what you want from a partner and where she would most likely spend her time.
I think that Dating is hard if your looking in the wrong places.
Look at a wedding or a book shop, garden centre etc.
Women would never admit that dating is complex and frustrating for us men. They would like to believe that we men have it so good and easy, and that they are they only ones suffering. So to admit to such would belie the facts of the matter: That is it not easy fro anyone.
I think some men tend to downplay it as well. Alot of men, even on here, make it sound as if men are dumb animals only after beer, food and no commitment sex. I know for a fact it isnt that easy because Ive dated and am currently dating a good man.
for GOOD men not as much...compared to men who only want sex (which is most of them)
What is a good man?
Is this an ***-kissing creature who will fall over his heels to please a woman? Is it a person who will try to bribe her with dinners and gifts to keep him company? Is it a man who will try to figure out, guess or trick her into showing what she wants just to be able to comply?
Sometime when we listen to our mothers, it sounds like it.
No, I think a GOOD man is a man with self-confidence. And since, basically, self-confidence is something we bring from our pre-school and toddler period and since so much of what we call ';upbringing'; is actually conditioning, there is literally difficult to find a member of our society with undamaged self-confidence.
Some people earn it back by being successful (that is why successful people are considered to be attractive), others earn it some other way. Some never do and have to rely on either money, power status or any other social crutch to copmpensate for it. But they are generally considered to be unattractive by both sexes.
Women nowadays have many requirements and have made many rules about how a man they will love must act. When men believe in it, it makes their dating a living hell, and many do.
But believe me, a really self-confident man won't give a damn about all these rules and will still have average or even above average success with women. That doesn't mean he has to be stupid, although some stupid blokes can have limited success with equally and a little less stupid women just because they don't have the ability to self-question themselves, thus acting confident.
Actually it helps to be smart precisely because of the stereotype of the Hamlet-typed, undecided intellectual. Smart guys with ability to act instantly are the real killers.
But there is another thing: When men go into the dating game, they are often obsessed by the goal. They MUST succeed! And by doing this they shoot themselves in the knee. If they were a bit more relaxed it would help them a lot.
And by what I said, I didn't say men shouldn't be chivalrous and good mannered. But opening doors, helping with the coat and other niceties must not indicate that one is ready to jump out of his skin just to please an attractive lady. And when you have to tell a lady that she is talking nonsense or behaving in a way that is intolerable to you, you can still do it politely, as long as you do it.
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