Many reasons, but the one most commonly overlooked by those on the outside trying hard to figure it out is: love.
Society just can't seem to understand how anyone could love someone who abuses them. But trust me, if love wasn't an issue, it would be easier to leave. Sure there are other reasons, too, but love is a very powerful thing.How come battered women choose to stay in abusive relationships rather than just leave?
I'm a battered woman. What causes these men to abuse is drugs, alcohol or anger (mental illness). It took me about 13 years to leave. I stayed not for the money or threats I stayed cause he kept saying it was okay for him to hit as its a sign of love. If we didn't fight we wouldn't love each other.
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The same reason any person stay with an abuser. they don't think they deserve anything else. my mom abused my dad and he abused her both of them wouldn't leave each other you know why? because deep down inside of them they think they change each other. not sure if this is the case for any victim of abuse. but fear has a lot to do with it. God Bless
Some women do escape, are tracked down, and murdered by their present or former husband/boyfriend. Even if you leave, it doesn't mean you'll live. And often, the men threaten to kill the children if their partner leaves, and sometimes the batterers do kill the kids as well. It's not as simple as leaving to get a cup of sugar. It's a life and death decision for these women.
We just had a case in NC of a woman who had taken out restraining orders against her husband she was separated from multiple times, but the sheriff refused to enforce it. She lived 2 blocks from the sheriff's office. The husband came by and started digging a huge hole across the street from her. She found out he was digging her grave. She went to the sheriff, and once again, they couldn't find her husband. The husband came back later, slashed her throat, and murdered her daughter. She crawled to the sheriff's office and collapsed in his office, she nearly bled to death. Yep, leaving an abusive partner is a piece of cake. Why don't they leave these crazy guys, eh?
This e-book is free to download and I really think you should read it. It's called 97 steps to a happy relationship. Check it out!
The same reason that battered men do.
economic reasons, children, believing that he's sorry and will stop and fear of being murdered are just a few of the reasons why a battered woman stays with her batterer . . .
Battered women stay for the same reason battered men stay in a relationship. Often they do not have any place else to go.
We also need to know that there is a real domestic violence industry that creates problems where the so called ';victims'; do not see a problem.
Although society is told that 95% of all abuse victims are women, unbiased research shows it is equal and in fact, the CDC has shown that 71 percent of the instigators in nonreciprocal partner violence were women.
When abuse is reported, the first thing the domestic violence advocates want is to force divorce even for minor problems. Most people do not want this. They want help to keep a relationship, not help to destroy it.
I have had many women contact me to tell me that even when they accidently hurt themselves, they had people demand they admit their husband or boyfriend abused them. In fact something like this happened when my wife had a MEDICAL illness that mimicd stoke that someone called the police and asked for a safty check on her. The police demanded that my wife tell them that I hit her so they could arrest me on the spot although there were no bruises, no indication of abuse although there was strong indication of a medical emergency for which if it were that, she could have died...the police were more interested in an arrest then they were her medical condition. BTW....any police officer should reconized the evidence of a major stroke and she had all of the signs and symptoms of one.
Until we learn to look at both sides of this issue, we will not help anyone. http://mediaradar.org/ gives a lot of good information on the real facts of domestic abuse.
BTW...was the network you saw that show on Lifetime or Oxygen?
Edit: Grace Hopper, I guess it is a charm for men too. Ask Matt Winkler. Remember him? He was the pastor who was shot ';accidently'; three times after the phone was disconnected and an escape plan already in progress. Of course, he is no longer around to defend himself against her charges he was violent. (and a shotgun is not violent)
Maybe Clara Harris's husband can tell us his side? Oh wait, he was under her car...accidently three times because he was having an affair on her. Strange, she was never under his car for her affair she had on him.
Restraining orders do not protect anyone because they are given out like candy making it impossible to protect those who need it. Ask Letterman. He had one placed on him for sending some woman in New Mexico message on his show. Better yet, ask a CAT (the one that goes meow) because the cat had a R/O placed on it but it still ignores it as she still sleeps on the lab of the woman who got it approved simply for the asking. Maybe the SWAT team should move in on this cat before it scratches the woman?
Too many reasons to even try to explain...
Fear, love (warped as it is), lack of self esteem, pride, and Fear again.....
and I could write on this topic for hours....
Peace.
All sorts of reasons, many of them very complex. They don't 'choose' to stay in an abusive relationship as you would 'choose' a pair of jeans to buy. Women are in the greatest danger of being murdered immediately after leaving an abusive spouse then at any other time. So fear plays a role, huh?
There is plenty of credible information about this on the internet and if you are really interested you can look it up for yourself. But you won't.
Cuz they get a rise out of it. Just like men going to dominas.
...If all you've ever driven are old battered beat up Volkswagen's... when someone offers you a Cadillac you don't believe them and are afraid you won't be able to drive it.
Manipulation..the abuser does things to make feel like they do no better the outside is worse. Fear...fear does many things to people.
It's not really a conscious choice. Some of them are too afraid of the consequences to leave (some abusive husbands have threatened to kill their wives if they make one move to leave). Others have had abusive childhoods and have grown to accept abuse as normal.
Any wife beater will always start by separating his victim [wife]by cutting all her relation she has with her family and friends ; after this first step he Will go to the next one bullying her ; destroying all her self confidence by saying things like ; you are no good for nothing ; you are lucky to have me because no man will want you ;;etc etc and the third step is the slap across the face and pushing his demonic hypocrisy in crying in her arms and begging for a apology ; so now you have a wife who is totally alone and destroy and she has nobody to confide and she start to think that he is the one who is right and she is the looser and the stupid and the slot that he had told her so many times so she stays and hope by loving him more that it will stop but of course it will get worse Oh its not easy as you think to get out of the claws of a wife beater . But I use to think just like you ; what made me understand their feeling of fear and desperation its because I worked for awhile with abuse woman
Nothing short of sheer stupidity and lack of logical reasoning.
But do remember, stupidity is a choice.
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